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What kind of loner are you?

Loneliness, whether we love it or hate it, we could all benefit from taming it.

Loneliness: for better or for worse!

We have often heard the negative impact that loneliness can have on our mental and physical health. But did you know that loneliness also has virtues?

Solitude allows to (positive effects):

  • Give free rein to our creativity

Artists will tell you, it is often when they are alone that they find their inspiration!

  • Recharge your batteries

Take a break from the world of business. Especially when you have a very busy life. A break can be very beneficial, even if it's a short break with a breath of fresh air.

  • Reconnecting with yourself

Are you sometimes so busy that you feel you can't find the time to take care of yourself? Solitude allows us to take stock of our needs and feelings.

The pandemic: learning to be alone

For most of us, the pandemic has forced us to reduce our social contacts. Deprived of contact with the outside world and far from our usual distractions, we found ourselves alone. Some of us have learned to be quite alone, while others have felt very helpless.

Well-being is first and foremost within oneself

It is certain that our state of mental and physical health greatly influences our relationship with solitude. For example, it is more difficult to find solitude pleasant when our health condition requires the help of others.

However, a person who feels good about himself or herself is likely to feel just as good alone as in the company of others. One thing is certain: to be comfortable with others, you must first be comfortable with yourself.

Conversely, a person who is unhappy inside may feel distressed whether alone or in a group. **If you feel psychological distress, do not hesitate to contact Info-Social at 811.

Feeling alone...even in a crowd

Have you ever felt lonely even in the presence of other people? This feeling can arise when we feel misunderstood, in the presence of people with whom we do not have affinity or if we are going through a difficult period.

It is then necessary to be well connected to what we feel and to take action to feel better by seeking the appropriate help for our needs.

It is better to be alone than badly accompanied

What do you think of this adage? Some people will tell you that they would rather be alone and at peace than in the presence of a person with whom they have a toxic relationship, for example. And it's true! Why harm yourself when you can be better off alone?

**You can always call Sos violence conjugale at 1-800-363-9010 if you need help.

Loneliness even among the young

It seems that one of the causes of loneliness among young people is related to relationship disappointments that may lead to a tendency to isolate oneself later on.

**Youth experiencing distress can also call Tel-Jeunes at 1-800-263-2266.

Solitude by choice or by spite: that's the secret!

Indeed, solitude can be experienced much more positively if it is chosen than if it is suffered. For example, a person with a very busy life may choose to recharge his or her batteries by taking a moment of solitude at home or at the spa. On the other hand, an older person who finds himself or herself isolated because of a lack of activities to do may feel a great deal of disappointment.

**To find out about paratransit options, you can call 211 at any time.

Here are some key questions to ask yourself:

  • What is the place of loneliness in my life?

  • Do I experience loneliness by choice or not?

  • What are my needs that make me want more or less loneliness?

  • What can I do to put more or less loneliness in my life?

  • What activities make me feel good when I am alone?

  • What people and organizations are available to help me find solutions to improve my quality of life?

** You can always call 211 to find out about resources in your area.

Change what you can and adapt to the rest

In summary, to improve our relationship with loneliness, we need to :

  • Take action to cultivate our inner well-being through relaxation, laughter, physical activity, yoga, positive thinking;

  • Ask for the necessary help for our physical and psychological health;

  • Staying well connected to our needs;

  • Determine what place we want loneliness to take in our lives;

  • Taking action to change what is not working for us;

  • Finding ways to adapt to what we cannot change. For example, if a person's physical condition limits their ability to get out, they could find out what resources are available to counteract the isolation by calling 211.

Tips for saying bye-bye to loneliness

If you feel the need to increase your social contacts, you can always :

  • Call 211 to find out about resources in your area to counteract isolation or to find activities.

  • Sign up for a class at a community organization. This will allow you to meet new people and take advantage of some free or low-cost activities.

  • Become a volunteer or ask for help from a volunteer by contacting the Pointe-aux-Trembles Volunteer Association: 514-645-1264 or the Volunteer Bureau of Montreal: 514-842-3351

  • Call a crisis line such as the Info-social line at 811 or consult all available crisis lines.

Tips for having more time alone

If you want more time alone, because you feel the need to recharge, you can always :

  • Wake up at least an hour before the rest of the household. This will allow you to have a moment to yourself to read, meditate or prepare for your day.

  • Go for a walk alone.

  • Make a date with yourself once a week and do what you enjoy.

  • Allow yourself to say no to certain invitations.

  • Take a day off.

"Loneliness is not the absence of company, but the time when our soul is free to converse with us and help us decide our lives" - Paulo Cohelo

We wish you all the best in finding yourself and being able to be alone as well as accompanied.

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